A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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