talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Randomize
