Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Randomize
