Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
