In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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