Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Randomize
