We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Randomize
