My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
