making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
I am available for nakedness
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Randomize
