if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
