Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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