you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
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