all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize
