Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
