I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
