we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Randomize
