Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
