At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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