today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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