oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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