plz talk dirty to me
shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
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