jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
Randomize
