i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
