it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
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