Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
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