...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
I wear drunk well.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Randomize
