wrigley field is MILF paradise
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
Dignity is for republicans.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
