he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Randomize
