I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Randomize
