You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize
