I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Randomize
