True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
