Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
She even gives head with a lisp.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Randomize
