Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
