I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Randomize
