I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
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