didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
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