I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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