Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
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