would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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