Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
