C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
