Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
