i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Randomize
