from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
please come you make the beer taste better
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Randomize
