"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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