im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
50% drunk capacity currently
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
