he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
