I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
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