yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
Randomize
